[ A lovely little gift for me ]

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.—Eleanor Roosevelt

These past few months i have come to realise that perhaps i have been keeping myself so busy so that i wont have to face, or have the time to face and think, about all the changes that have taken place over the past year in my life.

Now i think that part of the reason that i have let this go on is because i do like to be busy, i like having lots going on in my life and i feel as though i spent so many years with my ex just watching my life go that now that i was "free" i had to make up for lost time.

Now all of this is good and the things that i have been doing have been to better myself. I have really challenged myself this year and i have done so much growing, so much uncovering of who i am but at the same time i have been afraid too.

I guess that change is scary and when you come face to face with such a big change in your life you do go through patches of emotional ups and downs. Too be fair i have been more up than down but i have also noticed that i find myself battling to make decisions. I used to a good decision maker, i used to decide and stick with it until the end. Now i find that it takes me ages to decided and then when i have chosen i spend so much time doubting my decision that i end up giving up and not seeing my decision through simply because i am afraid that the decision that i have made is the wrong one and i will come out at the end of it having failed at yet another thing.

This is not a good place to be, not for me and not for my dreams. So i have decided that i am going to try to learn to trust myself a little more. To go with my gut feeling and to take a chance. I have a good head on me and my heart is in the right place so i just have to trust that God will work everything out for the best no matter what i decide or how it turns out.

Small steps - that's what they say right. So i have been thinking about what my dreams are for myself and for my future. Eleven months ago all of my dreams seemed to shatter and since then i haven't done much about picking them up. But not any more. I am finding my dreams again, i am taking more chances with my life and with my heart.

So the quote above is just something to remind myself to dream again, to take those chances that i seem to so desperately want to side step.

On a different note look what came through my postbox on Tuesday. I haven't had a parcel in months and months and i was so excited.

Thank you Kelli Perkins for this lovely gift. I have some time set aside this weekend to have a play!

[ Christmas Challenge WI Results Week 4 ]

Week 4 has been a really tough week for me. To be honest, with everything that has been going on, i have not paid much attention to my exercise or my eating.

So lets see what has been going on this week and end of last.....

* I have had no heating

* I have had no hot water

* I had a gas leak Saturday morning, had to call the emergency national grid out who then proceeded to totally disconnect my gas supply to my flat which meant no cooker either

* We have had the first snow fall for the year

* I have been trying to get my refund paid by the local council for an overpayment that i made a few months back - like trying to get water out of a rock

* And to top it all off on Tuesday morning i was made redundant with effect immediately!

I have spent the past two days mopping around at home, feeling sorry for myself and eating myself out of house and home. Not such a good idea but at the moment i am picking my battles and food is just not one of them.

On a positive note though i do have an interview this morning for a temp to perm position which will start in one weeks time. That does mean a week with no money and then a week in hand but i will have to make a plan. If i do get this job then i will try to find a weeks work with Office Angels or something like that. Reception work, tea making, filling - i don't care....just something that will bring some money in.

I have also managed to do some painting these past few days. I am currently working on two canvass's and have almost finished my jewellery holder so I have some exciting photos to share soon.

Bearing all the above in mind, my Christmas Challenge WI Result for week 4 was a gain of 0.6lbs. Not bad at all considering how much i have eaten and the fact that i have not made it to the gym once this week or even last weekend.

Seeing as i feel i need to have some sort of pic to brighten things up, how about my little mushroom.

Ok, so its dead now but hey, that is so not the point!

[ A jumble of thoughts ]

I have a lot going on in my world at the moment..... a lot of things are going through my head and through my heart. I thought it might help to put them into words so that i can try to make some sense of it all.

* I am missing Pam. So much you wouldn't believe. I miss our chats over a cup of tea. I miss telling her how things are going. I miss laughing over card making. I miss having her in my life. I have been thinking about going to visit her grave over the weekend but i am not sure if that is a good thing. For one, it make me even sadder and two i no longer really belong to her family. When i split up from my ex i guess i feel like i split up from the family as well. I'm not sure if they would be upset if they found out i had been.

* I haven't done any art in about the last three months. I miss it and perhaps that is why i am finding myself so down. I am itching to do some painting, to get my hands dirty but i know i just don't have the time i need. So maybe tonight i should get my art journal out instead and do some painting in that

* I have tooth ache and have been really sick this past week and weekend. My wisdom tooth is coming out and it is killing. I have this unbelievable fear of the dentist which doesn't help so right now i am sucking on painkillers and hoping it will go away.

* I cant get my parcel. I know its not big in the scheme of things but i just want my parcel! I'm never home - i work and live on my own - so if he is going to try to deliver at those times then i wont be there. Plus he seems to have a habit of first time not giving me my parcel number, which stopped me from being able to get it redirected to my folks. And then when he delivered again yesterday he put the parcel number down but put it down incorrectly! Just lovely!

* I need to do some dish washing - desperately! And some cleaning.

* I'm tired. I have a very busy week between working, gyming 4 times a week, studying and living i don't get much time to relax and find that i am often not getting to bed until 11:30. I am an 8 hours sleep kind of gal. I NEED my sleep. I am going to have to figure something out and quickly.

* I am doing my psychology degree, which i totally am loving, but i am a little worried that i have gotten myself in deeper than i originally thought. I am sure i can manage it, its more the time aspect of it.

* I want to do some baking - must make some time to do this.

* I have been being very good eating wise lately but yesterday and today i am in desperate need of sweet stuff. Chocolate, cheesecake...I'm not really fussed. I just want it and i want it all.

Sorry guys i know this post is a little soppy and winy today but sometimes its good just to get it out. I had this quote emailed to me today and thought it was very true.

"There are times when we may fool ourselves. There are times when we can fool others. But we can never fool our body. It is the most sensitive barometer of our inner world." - Sherrill Sellman

Have a lovely weekend everyone

[ My Weekend in Pictures ]

Most of my weekend was spent in this lovely bed as i have been so very sick. Surprisingly though, I have seemed to get a lot done as well this weekend.....

I did manage to finish PS I Love You as i was awake from 1am Saturday morning feeling so bad. I got up, made myself a cup of tea and sat and read. By 3am i was in tears, crying because my book was just so sad, crying because i was feeling so sick, crying because i was so sick and all alone and crying because i only had enough milk left for one more cup of tea - which would have had to be kept for my normal morning time cup of tea

Saturday morning i spent some time laying on my couch in my bed socks watching some TV while the washing was in

And this is some of the laundry that i got done over the past two days
I decided to treat myself a little this weekend and bought myself these three DVDs. I cant wait to watch them - especially ONCE. I have heard such great reviews about this film.
I also picked up some new nail polish, eye shadow and lipstick
I stopped by Borders on the way home from my folks on Saturday night to see if i could find a copy of Kelly Rae Roberts new book, Taking Flight.....no luck unfortunately

I made two huge pots of yummy vegetable soup for the week ahead

I bought myself some Asiatic Lilies for my kitchen
I also made a really good start on my University course. I listened to the Audio and familiarised myself with the requirements for my first marked assignment - which is due in two weeks time...eek!
By Sunday night i needed some fresh air so i decided to go for a walk in the little park next to my flat. It was nice to be outside, watching the neighbourhood dogs running around playing fetch.
All in all i would say it has been a good and productive weekend

[ Every woman needs one of these ]

Its just one of those rights to adult hood i guess. Every little girl loves her first pair of heels - she always feels like a beautiful princess in them - and i guess that feeling doesn't change as we get older.

I haven't had a pair of heels for years and i honestly do mean years. Last weekend i rectified this and now i am sitting at home with these lovely little ladies. I went for the safe option for now - a black pair with a cute little bow on the side but my next pair are most definitely going to be red!

If your like me and for some bizarre reason you are sitting at home with absolutely no heels in your closet then do yourself and your inner little girl a favour and go and buy yourself a pair....right now!

[ A night out at the Ballet ]

Last night we got all dressed up and headed out to see the Russian Ballet perform!

Oh My Gosh - it was such a nice evening out. A little culture goes a long way some times..hehe

As we couldn't take our cameras in i thought i would find some images on Google to share with everyone. If you ever get the chance please go and see them!

[ A sneak into my new flat - Pre wall art ]

My weekend has been so great. The weather has been sunshine all the way and i have had plenty of fresh air and fun.

I had a BBQ with family and friends on Saturday.

Got up early Sunday morning and spent the morning in a field doing a car boot sale.Ended up making £50 from my junk - so cool.

Did some cleaning and sorting in my flat.

Got my computer back up and running.

Took some photos of my new flat and so thought i would share - Its not finished by any means but i love it!

First off we have my nice kitchen. Its so big and spacious!
And then we move on to the hallway. I have these lovely little pockets above each of the doors and they are ideal to put little bits of art works in and little trinkets like my teddies and photos.

Then we have my bedroom with my new bedding, newly painted furniture and brand new lamp shade! I love this room as well.
and

Then onto my "spare room" which is really just a long cupboard but is great for all those odd little things.....
And finally my lounge....
I am off to watch the Russian Ballet tonight with my mom and my friend so i will have something nice and simple to share tomorrow!

[ My Patchwork Heart ]

I know its just a set back
Give it time and this feeling will pass
I have had a feeling for many years that he messed around on me
I just hadn’t thought he went as far as he had.

Today I got some proof – unintentionally stumbled across it
Part of me wishes I hadn’t.
I always thought the best of him despite the rumours
Isn't that what rumours are? Just gossip…..
I decided not to listen, I decided to follow my heart
But now my heart has cracked…and when I finally thought it was almost mended.

Through the break up we managed to stay friends,
How I am not sure
But now I don’t even want to see him
After all this time he manages to look me in the eye and lie about it.

Are there any men out there who can be trusted?
Who don’t cheat on you or break your heart.

[ What a difference a year makes ]

Wow, what a difference a year really can make!

This year has been such an incredible journey for me. A year with a lot of tears, a lot of difficult decisions and a lot of growing.

But here i sit, on my birthday, and my heart is filled with hope and pride. Im 27 today and yes i might not have a significant other in my life, i dont own my own place or have children yet but you know what....i am happy.

A year ago today this was not the case. I was turning 26 and as bad as this sounds all that I wanted to do was to stop exisisting. I didn’t want to carry on with things the way that they were. Yes I had a man in my life and yes I was engaged to be married but I had been for over six years. We rented a house together, we both worked but there was no sign of actually getting married, of buying our own place or have ever having children together. I felt like all my dreams had faded away, all my hopes and ideas for my future had been erased and worst of all – I felt nothing inside of me except disappointment, sadness and dread.

To those of you who are reading this and thinking – wow that is harsh, to some extent you are right, but it is also true. The thing is, is that this whole journey and this post is not about him and what he did or didn’t do – he is a wonderful guy and we have somehow managed to stay pretty good friends even through all of this. This post is about me and my journey. It is about the steps and choices that I have made this year that have lead me to where I am today.

Today I sit here and I am happy! I have just moved into a beautiful flat and started a lovely job. I am making friends and I am starting to follow some of my new dreams. I still have days where I worry about all those things that I am expected to have at my age, but for the most part I look forward to what my future has to hold for me. I am so proud of myself for taking that step and for doing all of those difficult things that have brought me to this place where I am at right now.

I love who I am becoming once again. I look ahead to a new year, a year that has got so much in store for me. So many good things. I am looking forward to growing even more into who I was created to be!

Happy birthday to Me!

[ I have decided to go with the flow……. ]

I can tell that I am getting older and wiser as they say…..I am trying harder to go with the flow and not get stressed out about things that I can not control. This is no easy task but I am learning that it does make living life that little bit easier.

"So whats flowing?" you ask - let me share………..

* I have only got 7 more working days and then I am off to start my new job.

* I leave for a weeks holiday to Scotland in 3 days and have yet to do any packing.

* I found a flat that I love and want so badly. I put my name and money forward to the agency and am now just waiting for them to come back to me with a "Yes you have been successful and not thrown away £150" or a "No, we don’t want you living in our beautiful flat but thanks for the money". I'm praying and hoping that it’s the first one.

* Oh, and since I am very impatient and REALLY REALLY want this flat I gave my current Landlord his four weeks notice Saturday just gone. Yup, I don’t believe in dipping my toe in the water first - I might as well just jump and figure it out along the way.

* I have been spending a lot of time reading Jennettes book and I am loving every minute of it - she is so funny and so real and so often while she is telling her story I can see me doing or having done the exact same thing

* Because I have given my notice I also started packing up my flat. Well, I guess I should say I have just completely made a huge big mess in the name of packing. Its getting sorted out and organised, honest!

* While sorting and organising I am also finding things that I want to sell or get rid of so I now have a nice big pile of stuff that needs a new home.

* And to go in my nice new beautiful flat I have also decided that I want new bedding and new bedroom furniture. I know that I want colour and personality but more than that I am not really sure. I am thinking something along these lines……

or this

or this

*I have also been given a full grant for my first year of study for my Psychology degree. I have now registered for the first year and can not wait to get started. I am so excited about this course.

[ A lot going on ]

A lot is going on emotionally at the moment so not really in the mood to post what i was going to post. Instead i am going to share two songs that i am loving at the moment.

and then this one

[ I really did want to have his baby ]

Dreams...........( painted this weekend )

Ok, I know that is not your normal sort of blog title but it is what is on my mind today. I have been reading this book called At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks and the further along that I have been reading it the more and more I have been feeling this longing. I am not going to spoil the book for anyone so If you want a good clean romance then all that I am going to say is definitely pick up a copy of this book.

Ok, so back to this longing and to my title before you all think that I have gone bonkers! Oh wait, part of me feels like I already have. For those of you who don’t know I split up from my fiance 7 months ago today actually. We had been together for almost seven years. For as long as I can remember I had wanted to get married and have a baby and as much as he said he wanted these things they just never seemed to materialise. I guess that this is part of why I decided to end things with him - I wanted and needed things that he just didn’t seem to really want.

It's not that I am that sad that all I want to do is cry - I guess I am just dealing with those broken dreams. Those ideas and hopes of how I thought my life would turn out with him. I wanted to have his baby - that is such a huge deal and yet he didn’t seem all that interested. I wanted to marry him and again he was happy to live with things as they were. I needed to go forward, he wanted to float.

I think it definitely says some great things about us when even after all of this I can honestly say that we have been able to stay friends. We visit each other now and then, we give each other a quick text to see how things are and we do truly care about each other. Loving him was never the issue. Living out my dreams with him was.

So I guess I am just reflecting on the wedding I didn’t have, on the marriage I feel that I have missed out on and on the baby that I so desperately want. It all feels so very very far away and I don’t know if I can wait that long to finally be living my dreams.

[ Sharing is Caring ]

Or at least that is what was said in our family while i was growing up.

Before i carry on i just want to say thank you to all you lovely ladies who commented on my weight lose on yesterdays post. It is so nice to have such great support and encouragement. Thank you.

Friday night my friend and i went to go watch Mamma Mia!

Now let me just explain that i haven't been to the cinema in at least seven months. Its actually probably a lot longer than that because i cant even remember what the last film was that i watched in a cinema.

To say that the evening was fantastic is an understatement. The whole experience was so much fun. The smell of that freshly made popcorn....yum! *Although i would happily like to add that i did not have any*

The movie was great. I really really enjoyed it and spent a lot of the movie tapping my foot and mouthing the words.......due to my lack of a singing voice of course

Isn't EBay such a cool place. Whoever thought this idea up is brilliant. Look what i brought for £9.50 all inclusive! 8GB memory card and a card reader for under £10! Fantastic.

And then there is shopping. Not just any shopping but you know when you go into a grocery store that you don't normally shop in. Yes, i know it does take twice as much time while in this different shop but boy oh boy what treasures can be found just by trying somewhere new. Look what i found at Morrison's....

I can not wait to give them a try.

[ So psyched ]

This week has really been a good one.

Work situation. Not only did i get the job that i wanted but they also agreed to give me the increase that i wanted. In fact, they agreed to give me £1000 more rather than just the £500. Fantastic!

The future. Today i bought two tickets to.........*drum roll please*......... the ballet! Yup, you read that right. I have always wanted to go to the ballet but never actually thought i would ever do it. Now i am! September 22nd at 7:30pm i will be there! Oh, i am so psyched about this!

I am going to go all out and get dressed up to the nines!

Eating plan. Day 2 and everything is on track and going well. I have been feeling full and confident. I have written down everything that i have eaten and stayed within my points. Go me!

LOL - I am sure i had more to share with you guys than this but its late and this is all that i can think of. Have a happy weekend everyone.

[ Race for Life ]

I did my first Race for Life on Sunday - 5km! This year my mom and I went together so I walked along with her but next year I hope to be able to run it. That is my goal. Something to work towards.

3000 woman were there. It was fantastic. Some people got dressed up, others were there with their children and hubbies. The local radio station was there and we even had Nivea Boys with Pom Poms cherring us on….lol

Such a good day! Here are some photos from the day. As I don’t have my camera I have had to use these from the radio stations website, its ok - I sent them an email asking them if I could use them before I took them :-).

It took us about 45 minutes to do the race. It was held at our local park so 80% was walked on the grass and the rest was on paths. And to add to all the fun it rained pretty much all of the time we were walking. And I don’t mean a little drizzle - I mean absolutely pelting it down. We were soaked through and even then had water running off of our faces. I loved it!

Another proud day for me. Something new to add to my list of "good" about me. And do you know what else I thought was fantastic? Monday morning I wasn’t even stiff. That was surprising for me because I definitely thought I would wake up and would have to roll out of bed because I wouldn’t be able to move my legs. But that was not the case. I managed to get out of bed and I even made it into work.

Heres to all the other 2999 woman who raced with me on Sunday. Well Done to you all!

[ Things are Good ]

So things are going pretty well for me at the moment. It feels like things are finally coming together and i am so grateful to God for this.

This morning i received my permanent residency back from the Home Office. It only took 4 weeks compared to the 6 months it took them to give me an extension on my visa last year. I know this is going to sound a little weird but i am really proud of myself for getting this. I did this whole thing on my own. I did it properly, and even though there was a lot of worrying and a lot of tears and a lot of money i now have it! All on my own.

And i also have Internet at home again! Yup, i am reconnected to the Internet world - I have missed it!...lol. Hopefully this will mean that i will be able to update my blog a little more frequently and start adding a lot more images (but for some reason not in this post..lol) I will also be able to start leaving comments again....Yippee!

This morning i did a Body Combat class at the gym and man i have not sweated that much in years. I had it literally running down me. Wow! Another thing to be proud of myself about.

I am trusting God for an interview next week. My CV has been sent off to this company and it is close to home, it is a huge company, a great opportunity for me and the salary is whole lot better than where i am now. If i get this job i will even be able to quite my second job and still be earning more than i am right now. That will be such a relief. So if you could keep me in your prayers this week i would love that. I will let you know more about this as i do.

I am off to pick up my brother. Have a great weekend everyone!

[ The second half ]

Can you believe it is the last day of the first half of 2008! Oh yeah, and the last day of June. Wow, where has it all gone to?

Last night I climbed into bed with a cup of tea and my journal and I spent some time writing. Putting my thoughts and my feelings about the past few months onto paper and can I just say how therapeutic this was for me. I went to sleep with a clear mind and a happy heart. I had a good night sleep!

I am feeling so hopeful about the second part of the year ahead. I think that I went through a stage where I had lost my hope. I might have been fighting with all my might on the outside but inside I think I had decided to give up and just lie down. It was easier and ….well, sadder really.
Anyway, this weekend I got to spend some time being creative. I did two new canvas's and finished off one other that has been laying around for weeks now. None of them turned out the way that I had imagined them in my head when I first sat down and started with them but by the time I had washed up my last paint brush I was so proud and so pleased with them. The whole process they had changed, taken on a different look, a different story and by the end of it I knew that they were perfect just the way that they were. The end product was beautiful. As I sat there looking at them and trying to take photos of them with my dad's terrible camera ( love ya dad :-] ) hope started to bloom inside of me. Those rays of sunshine that you hear about in story books and movies moved into my heart and into my spirit and has started to spread, started to grow.


As I said earlier, I am really looking forward to what the rest of this year has in store for me!


While I was writing in my journal the topic of my weight loss or lack of weight loss came up for me. This month has not been a good month for me with regards to the scales but in other aspects things have been good. From June 1st till June 30th I have lost nothing. Yup, these past four weeks my weight has been riding its own little rollercoaster but in total I have lost nothing this month.

I have however managed to do a few good things this month that I am proud of. I had four goals for the month of June.

*Lose 10 lbs - This one didn’t come off the ground.
*Do 350min Cardio Exercise - I smashed this goal! I am proud to say that I have done a total of 501 minutes and so I get to earn my exercise bling! Way to go ME!
*Drink more water - Check, I am drinking at least 5 glasses of water a day……5 more than what I used to drink!
*Try a new exercise - Not only have tried Aquafit but on Saturday I went to my first Body Combat Class. Two days later and I still ache but I am so going back next week!


In my book three out of four is definitely not bad!


Friday afternoon I spent some time reading Cammy's blog and man oh man, if you have some spare time make sure you take a trip over there. It is full of great entries, funny stories and lots of great humour! Anyway, while reading her archives I found myself agreeing a lot with what she was saying. What she said made sense and that was how I wanted things to be.
More specifically, I don’t want to be on a diet for the rest of my life….I want to be eating healthily and looking after my body by exercising it, challenging it. So, l used her SMART entry and put together an action plan for myself. Something that I am going to try and if need be, tweak where necessary. Having some time to just think about it was really good for me. I realised some things that I might be doing which is hindering me from dropping that weight that I want to even though I am doing the right things. Once of those things is eating dinner so late. I work 2 jobs and don’t get home till 8pm which means that I don’t sit down to eat dinner until 9pm and some nights its 9:30 till I am actually sitting down to eat. Then I am going to two hours later and this is simply not good for me. So I have decided to try to have my main meal at lunch time and have the lunch that I would have normally had in the evening. That way, I will have a smaller amount of food that my body is trying to digest and I am hoping that this will help. Like I said, at the moment it is all about the tweaking so we will wait and see if this works for me or not.


So this is what I came up with as my starting points for me:
*I am going to eat 3 meals a day and 2 snacks
*Only eat bread once a week
*Drink min of 5 glasses of water a day
*Work out a min of 3 times a week.
*Not eat after 8pm Eat my main meal at lunch time
*And directly from Cammy - Every 1000 minutes of cardio will earn me 1 full fat treat of my choice. A slice of cake, an ice cream, a chocolate bar - whatever I want.


And just so that I can have something to measure my progress against here are the starting numbers from today:
Weight: 263.4 lbs
Bust: 44 inches
Waist: 48.5 inches
Hips: 53.5 inches


And I think that is enough for today ladies. Thank you for reading and for all the encouraging comments and emails that you send me. My heart smiles when I read them.

[ My newest Toy ]

Normally I am pretty serious and If I am being honest, sometimes I wish I were a little more of a free spirit. Someone who just kicks off her shoes and rolls around on the floor laughing so hard her stomach hurts. I am working on this. Working on being a little more spontaneous, adding a little more fun into my life. One of the ways that I have been doing this is by playing on the Wii! Yup, you read that right…I have a games console! I haven't had one since I was a child and we lived in our old house. I used to love playing games like Mario world, PaperBoy and Frog. Now I got myself an Nintendo Wii and the Wii Fit board and I am having so much fun with it I don’t know why I waited so long.


My favourite activities on the Wii Fit are the Hula Hoping, Steps and the balance games. This morning I unlocked the boxing game and man oh man I can not wait to get some more time to do that one. Bam! Bam! Bam! Block! LOVE IT!


I also splashed out and bought myself the Super Paper Mario game for the Wii a few weeks ago. Another game that i love. I am glad to say that i have now finished chapter 1 and have moved onto chapter 2! Very cool



Oh yeah, and my new little Samsung F210 pink phone. I love that too!


A lot of things have been happening here these past 10 days, so i thought i would give you all a bit of an update


Exercise - Tomorrow night i am heading on over to the local leisure centre to my work and i will be signing up for membership. At the moment i am really busy but i know that right now i could put aside two nights a week to do the Aquafit classes. 120 min of exercise a week would do me the world of good.


Weight - My weight has not really changed this week. Thank you for all the replies about weighing weekly vs daily. I am a curious person so i will probably carry on jumping on the scales in between my weekly weigh ins but for now this is fine.


Job Situation - Well, i have finally decided that i am finished here. I spoke to an agency yesterday and i am going for two job interviews tomorrow. Fingers crossed please ladies!


Desire - Those of you who have been following my blog for a while know how much i loved my camera. Due to needing to get together a lot of money for my permanent residency application i had no choice but to do the adult thing and part with my beloved camera. I know need a new camera. I hate not being able to take photos of things around me and it is really showing in my blog. So i am having to save for a new one but it might be a few months before i can get that sorted out.


My Art - I haven't had much time to do any art lately. I have two unfinished canvases that are waiting for me but i have been tired lately and haven't felt like doing much of anything except reading my current library book, the pact, and watching my DVD sets of Greys Anatomy. I only have another 6 episodes to watch until i am at the end .....again. I really love that show. I cant wait until Season 4 comes out here in the UK.


And that my friends is about it i guess. Take care and catch up soon.

[ Attitude adjustment ]

First let me just share that last night I went to an Aqua fit class. My fist aqua fit class in about four years and I can tell you that I had a ton of fun! I really really enjoyed it and today, well let me just tell you my tummy muscles worked hard last night. I seem to have a constant dull ache. I am very pleased with myself. They have two classes every week and both of them start at a perfect time so I am going to look into the membership costs and see what I can do. A definite one that I want to do again!



So back to the attitude adjustment…….I think this is something that I need at the moment. Not with everything but more particularly in my job. I am hating my job. I feel like they are taking me for granted. We are a small office and I am the only accounts person in it. They don’t understand what I do or what my job involves. Two of the woman are total cows *I can think of a more appropriate word but I don’t normally swear*. They think they are always right and that everyone else needs to follow what they say. We are moving offices next week. I have picked my place and now today they think that one of the other guys should sit where I want to sit. I know its only a table and a chair but I need the quiet. I want my own space. I don’t want to be In the middle of the room with everyone buzzing around me. I just want that spot and I don’t really care if they think he should sit there instead of me. I want to sit there.



Sorry for the grumbling but the past week has really gotten me down. I am trying to come to this with a better attitude but it is really difficult. Perhaps I just need some time to rest - I am pretty tired which I guess doesn’t help.

[ A Full Life ]

Lately my life has welcomed and experienced (some grudgingly) . . .

Sweet Friends . Laughter. Fresh mornings. Rain. Smelly feet. Soft mints. Flirting. The lose of my sweet kitties. Candles. Questions. Listening. The SUN! Prayer. Expectations and disappointment. Tenderness. Fear. Memories of my grandparents. Mystery. Wii Fit. A blank canvas. A smaller bank account. Loneliness. Courage. Forgiveness. Grace. Lust. Faith. Hope.