These past few months i have come to realise that perhaps i have been keeping myself so busy so that i wont have to face, or have the time to face and think, about all the changes that have taken place over the past year in my life.
Now i think that part of the reason that i have let this go on is because i do like to be busy, i like having lots going on in my life and i feel as though i spent so many years with my ex just watching my life go that now that i was "free" i had to make up for lost time.
Now all of this is good and the things that i have been doing have been to better myself. I have really challenged myself this year and i have done so much growing, so much uncovering of who i am but at the same time i have been afraid too.
I guess that change is scary and when you come face to face with such a big change in your life you do go through patches of emotional ups and downs. Too be fair i have been more up than down but i have also noticed that i find myself battling to make decisions. I used to a good decision maker, i used to decide and stick with it until the end. Now i find that it takes me ages to decided and then when i have chosen i spend so much time doubting my decision that i end up giving up and not seeing my decision through simply because i am afraid that the decision that i have made is the wrong one and i will come out at the end of it having failed at yet another thing.
This is not a good place to be, not for me and not for my dreams. So i have decided that i am going to try to learn to trust myself a little more. To go with my gut feeling and to take a chance. I have a good head on me and my heart is in the right place so i just have to trust that God will work everything out for the best no matter what i decide or how it turns out.
Small steps - that's what they say right. So i have been thinking about what my dreams are for myself and for my future. Eleven months ago all of my dreams seemed to shatter and since then i haven't done much about picking them up. But not any more. I am finding my dreams again, i am taking more chances with my life and with my heart.
So the quote above is just something to remind myself to dream again, to take those chances that i seem to so desperately want to side step.
On a different note look what came through my postbox on Tuesday. I haven't had a parcel in months and months and i was so excited.
Thank you Kelli Perkins for this lovely gift. I have some time set aside this weekend to have a play! 
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