[ My newest Toy ]

Normally I am pretty serious and If I am being honest, sometimes I wish I were a little more of a free spirit. Someone who just kicks off her shoes and rolls around on the floor laughing so hard her stomach hurts. I am working on this. Working on being a little more spontaneous, adding a little more fun into my life. One of the ways that I have been doing this is by playing on the Wii! Yup, you read that right…I have a games console! I haven't had one since I was a child and we lived in our old house. I used to love playing games like Mario world, PaperBoy and Frog. Now I got myself an Nintendo Wii and the Wii Fit board and I am having so much fun with it I don’t know why I waited so long.


My favourite activities on the Wii Fit are the Hula Hoping, Steps and the balance games. This morning I unlocked the boxing game and man oh man I can not wait to get some more time to do that one. Bam! Bam! Bam! Block! LOVE IT!


I also splashed out and bought myself the Super Paper Mario game for the Wii a few weeks ago. Another game that i love. I am glad to say that i have now finished chapter 1 and have moved onto chapter 2! Very cool



Oh yeah, and my new little Samsung F210 pink phone. I love that too!


A lot of things have been happening here these past 10 days, so i thought i would give you all a bit of an update


Exercise - Tomorrow night i am heading on over to the local leisure centre to my work and i will be signing up for membership. At the moment i am really busy but i know that right now i could put aside two nights a week to do the Aquafit classes. 120 min of exercise a week would do me the world of good.


Weight - My weight has not really changed this week. Thank you for all the replies about weighing weekly vs daily. I am a curious person so i will probably carry on jumping on the scales in between my weekly weigh ins but for now this is fine.


Job Situation - Well, i have finally decided that i am finished here. I spoke to an agency yesterday and i am going for two job interviews tomorrow. Fingers crossed please ladies!


Desire - Those of you who have been following my blog for a while know how much i loved my camera. Due to needing to get together a lot of money for my permanent residency application i had no choice but to do the adult thing and part with my beloved camera. I know need a new camera. I hate not being able to take photos of things around me and it is really showing in my blog. So i am having to save for a new one but it might be a few months before i can get that sorted out.


My Art - I haven't had much time to do any art lately. I have two unfinished canvases that are waiting for me but i have been tired lately and haven't felt like doing much of anything except reading my current library book, the pact, and watching my DVD sets of Greys Anatomy. I only have another 6 episodes to watch until i am at the end .....again. I really love that show. I cant wait until Season 4 comes out here in the UK.


And that my friends is about it i guess. Take care and catch up soon.

[ Attitude adjustment ]

First let me just share that last night I went to an Aqua fit class. My fist aqua fit class in about four years and I can tell you that I had a ton of fun! I really really enjoyed it and today, well let me just tell you my tummy muscles worked hard last night. I seem to have a constant dull ache. I am very pleased with myself. They have two classes every week and both of them start at a perfect time so I am going to look into the membership costs and see what I can do. A definite one that I want to do again!



So back to the attitude adjustment…….I think this is something that I need at the moment. Not with everything but more particularly in my job. I am hating my job. I feel like they are taking me for granted. We are a small office and I am the only accounts person in it. They don’t understand what I do or what my job involves. Two of the woman are total cows *I can think of a more appropriate word but I don’t normally swear*. They think they are always right and that everyone else needs to follow what they say. We are moving offices next week. I have picked my place and now today they think that one of the other guys should sit where I want to sit. I know its only a table and a chair but I need the quiet. I want my own space. I don’t want to be In the middle of the room with everyone buzzing around me. I just want that spot and I don’t really care if they think he should sit there instead of me. I want to sit there.



Sorry for the grumbling but the past week has really gotten me down. I am trying to come to this with a better attitude but it is really difficult. Perhaps I just need some time to rest - I am pretty tired which I guess doesn’t help.

[ HYC Update ]

This week: 264.4 lbs

The scales haven't exactly been going the way I would have liked them to the past few weeks and It has been showing with my updates….or should I say lack of updates. It is so frustrating. Up a pound, down half, up two pounds, no change, up half a pound, down one. I just can seem to get out of this bracket. This morning I had a look back at my records and from the end of April until today I have been fighting with the same four pounds. It is really getting me down and I am trying hard but I am starting to feel hopeless again.



I can definitely tell when I go off track a bit. My body feels horrible and I feel icky. When I am eating properly and exercising I feel good in myself - even though the weight isn't shifting. So that is a positive thing. I like feeling better about myself. I like feeling healthier.



I seem to have hit another snag though. I hurt my knee last week while I was jogging. I can walk OK but when it comes to going up or down stairs it clicks and absolutely aches. My mom has said that I should try to rest it for a few days but here is the problem… I have one flight of stairs at work which I have to go up and down several times a day. I live in a flat that has two flight of stairs in it. There is just no getting away from stairs for me and I don’t want to do any more damage to my knee so I am taking some anti-inflammatory and some glucosamine tablets to help with the joint. I don’t know if this will help or not but I thought that it couldn't’t hurt to give it a try.



So I was wondering if you could answer a question for me? How often do you guys weigh yourself? Do you do It Daily, Weekly or monthly? If you do it daily do the ups and downs upset things? And if you have any suggestions on what to try or do to get myself out of this cycle I would greatly appreciate it.

[ A Full Life ]

Lately my life has welcomed and experienced (some grudgingly) . . .

Sweet Friends . Laughter. Fresh mornings. Rain. Smelly feet. Soft mints. Flirting. The lose of my sweet kitties. Candles. Questions. Listening. The SUN! Prayer. Expectations and disappointment. Tenderness. Fear. Memories of my grandparents. Mystery. Wii Fit. A blank canvas. A smaller bank account. Loneliness. Courage. Forgiveness. Grace. Lust. Faith. Hope.

[ An End in Sight ]

So I finally feel like I can see an end in sight. You know how sometimes when you have been waiting for something for so long that when you actually get close to finishing it or having it end it is such a weight off your shoulders. You know how sometimes you feel a little lost as you no longer have to think about it or plan for it or sort it out……its great!


I posted off my application form and money to the Home Office last week and yesterday I received a letter to say that they had received my application and that it will be passed to a case worker. This morning that cheque cleared my account and I can finally see the end in sight!


I have also decided to hand in my notice at work. They take advantage of me and don’t recognise all the hard work and overtime that I do for them so enough is enough and I finally took that step…..I have sent off a few job applications and will see what comes up.


With the whole health scare thing these past few weeks I haven't been all that good with my eating and exercise so this morning when I got on the scale it read 262.4. Not too bad considering all that I have been eating and how little I have been exercising. This week I am back to eating healthy and exercising. My goal for June is to do 350 minutes of exercise and so far I am happy to report that I have done 145 minutes. 20 days to go and 205 minutes left. I can do this!

[ Happy Days ]

First things first - I got good news today. I am healthy and happy. I might need to go in for minor surgery but that is all that it will be ….minor. I am so relieved! This experience has really been an eye opener for me and like everything else that has been going on in my life this year - this is something that has really been challenging for me.

"If we truly want to create a life that is grounded in basic well-being, we must decide to commit
ourselves to learning what it take to thrive instead of merely survive." - Susan Velasquez

In light of what I have been facing I have had some fantastic emails sent to me. The first was the quote above which was sent by morningmantra and this little quote reminded me that I don’t just want to get through this life ….. I want to thrive! I want to love my life and live it that way. When things go wrong, when dreams are broken, relationships end and you face health scares it is easy to find ourselves in the surviving mode. And you know what, I think that this place is sometimes where we need to be when we are dealing with these situations at the start but for me the key is to not stay there. To not wake up six months down the line and realise that you are still just trying to survive. I want more and I have started to live my life like that. I want to thrive. I want a great life!

And then there is my new banner! I love it. Again it is a gentle reminder for me not to waste my life. To make the most of every single day. To look at my priorities in life and jiggle them around so that they better suit what I want to achieve and how I want to live my life. It is so easy to find yourself going through the motions and I just don’t want to do that anymore. I want to be aware of what is going on around me, as they say I want to stop and smell the roses.

Another thing that I have been working on is being more positive. Thinking positively, doing positively and most importantly speaking positively. A little while ago I got an email from Joel Osteen about Giving your Faith a Voice. He says it better than I do so if you have a few minutes please have a read….it might just change your life!

"Every believer has been given a measure of faith. In order to see the promises of God come to pass in your life, you have to give your faith a voice. You must declare what God says about you in His Word. Those seeds of faith inside you are activated when you speak them out into the atmosphere. That’s why the scripture tells us, “Let the weak say I am strong. Let the poor say I am rich.” When you give your faith a voice and send forth the Word of God out of your mouth, the Bible says that He watches over His Word to bring it to pass in your life. Don’t dig up your seed by speaking against His Word. Don’t allow words of defeat or negativity to come out of your mouth. Instead, water your seed by continuing to declare the Word of God. When you wake up every morning, thank Him that His promises are coming to pass in your life. As you do, you will see those things come to pass, and you will live the life of victory God has prepared for you"

Enough chattering from me I guess. I am off to have a lovely weekend, to spend time with family and friends, to do some exercise, some baking and I might even take some time to do some painting. I haven't had much time to paint these past few months and I miss it so I thought I would get my hands dirty.

Oh yes, did I mention that I already know what I will be giving for Christmas pressies this year? Yup, I am on the ball!

[ The Unkown }

The Unkown can be a very scary place to be.

This place is where i am right now.

I am off to the doctors tomorrow so if you could say a prayer for me i would greatly appreicate it. I am hoping it is not as bad as what it might be.