Thursday, September 11, 2008

[ What a difference a year makes ]

Wow, what a difference a year really can make!

This year has been such an incredible journey for me. A year with a lot of tears, a lot of difficult decisions and a lot of growing.

But here i sit, on my birthday, and my heart is filled with hope and pride. Im 27 today and yes i might not have a significant other in my life, i dont own my own place or have children yet but you know what....i am happy.

A year ago today this was not the case. I was turning 26 and as bad as this sounds all that I wanted to do was to stop exisisting. I didn’t want to carry on with things the way that they were. Yes I had a man in my life and yes I was engaged to be married but I had been for over six years. We rented a house together, we both worked but there was no sign of actually getting married, of buying our own place or have ever having children together. I felt like all my dreams had faded away, all my hopes and ideas for my future had been erased and worst of all – I felt nothing inside of me except disappointment, sadness and dread.

To those of you who are reading this and thinking – wow that is harsh, to some extent you are right, but it is also true. The thing is, is that this whole journey and this post is not about him and what he did or didn’t do – he is a wonderful guy and we have somehow managed to stay pretty good friends even through all of this. This post is about me and my journey. It is about the steps and choices that I have made this year that have lead me to where I am today.

Today I sit here and I am happy! I have just moved into a beautiful flat and started a lovely job. I am making friends and I am starting to follow some of my new dreams. I still have days where I worry about all those things that I am expected to have at my age, but for the most part I look forward to what my future has to hold for me. I am so proud of myself for taking that step and for doing all of those difficult things that have brought me to this place where I am at right now.

I love who I am becoming once again. I look ahead to a new year, a year that has got so much in store for me. So many good things. I am looking forward to growing even more into who I was created to be!

Happy birthday to Me!

1 comment:

Martha said...

Happy Birthday! You sound like you've made a lot of progress this year:-)

 

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