Dreams...........( painted this weekend )
Ok, I know that is not your normal sort of blog title but it is what is on my mind today. I have been reading this book called At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks and the further along that I have been reading it the more and more I have been feeling this longing. I am not going to spoil the book for anyone so If you want a good clean romance then all that I am going to say is definitely pick up a copy of this book.
Ok, so back to this longing and to my title before you all think that I have gone bonkers! Oh wait, part of me feels like I already have. For those of you who don’t know I split up from my fiance 7 months ago today actually. We had been together for almost seven years. For as long as I can remember I had wanted to get married and have a baby and as much as he said he wanted these things they just never seemed to materialise. I guess that this is part of why I decided to end things with him - I wanted and needed things that he just didn’t seem to really want.
It's not that I am that sad that all I want to do is cry - I guess I am just dealing with those broken dreams. Those ideas and hopes of how I thought my life would turn out with him. I wanted to have his baby - that is such a huge deal and yet he didn’t seem all that interested. I wanted to marry him and again he was happy to live with things as they were. I needed to go forward, he wanted to float.
I think it definitely says some great things about us when even after all of this I can honestly say that we have been able to stay friends. We visit each other now and then, we give each other a quick text to see how things are and we do truly care about each other. Loving him was never the issue. Living out my dreams with him was.
So I guess I am just reflecting on the wedding I didn’t have, on the marriage I feel that I have missed out on and on the baby that I so desperately want. It all feels so very very far away and I don’t know if I can wait that long to finally be living my dreams.
1 comment:
First, let me say, I LOVE your painting! That is something I would definitely buy & hang in my home! You are extremely talented!!
Now, that I got that out of the way, life is a crazy crazy CRAZY thing. It'll bend and change on you and there's not much you can do, but enjoy the ride. Your destiny IS out there. You are still so young!
We all make our little "time lines" for our lives. But guess what, they never work out (take it from me!!) And when they do, its usually forced.
You are one strong lady to have been able to make your own decisions about your life, instead of being strung along by someone who wouldn't committ. Not many woman can say that.
It'll all happen for you, probably not when you want it to, but definitely when you least expect it!
Post a Comment